Monkey Magic!

Arctic Monkeys and The Grates in Brisbane 5/8/06

So, the Arctic Monkeys finally made their way down under. And if wall-sweat is anything to go by...the gig I was at was a raging success. But more about the wall-sweat in just a minute...

It was so exciting, because so often in the land of Oz you get to read about 'the hottest band on the planet' but you don't actually get to see them. Or if you do...that band has already drowned in pool of their own hype. So after a year of reading about it...Bris-Vegas punters finally got to experience some real live Arctic Monkey love. The Arena was the perfect venue too...As it's quite small and for some reason a gig is better when you are all smooshed in together.

The Grates supported, so it was a fantastic double bill and it meant the venue was packed out nice and early. I have never seen The Arena that full before. After all, The Grates are always so much fun live...well almost always. I have to say I was disappointed. They totally phoned-in their performance. Singer, Patience, who is always so bubbly and super-energetic just seemed flat and like someone was forcing her to jump up and down. She abused an audience member in what I think was a joke and at one point I thought she might throw up. Maybe they're sick of touring (bad pun intended). Who knows!? But this was their home crowd so... Weirdness.

Anyway...the odd performance by the Grates was soon forgotten as the crowd got super pumped for some Monkey action. When they walked on stage I was stunned. They are so young. I knew they were young from the press but they are actually children. It's outrageous - but good for them. Anyway, they started with a subdued rendition of 'riot van' and then kicked it into gear as the crowd went nuts upon hearing the opening riff of 'view from the afternoon'.

From then on things just kept on getting better. The whole room was so into it and all our expectations were met. There were some great sing-along moments especially for 'fake tales from san fransisco', which included fist-pumping as well (awesome). Alex, actually stepped back from the mic and let the crowd sing for him. Everyone screaming the line "the band was fucking wankered, I'm not having a nice time" couldn't have been further from the truth. You gotta love a bit of crowd participation!

But by far my favorite moment came during my least favorite song, 'Mardy Bum'. The whole Brisbane crowd was singing along....fake Sheffield accent and all. You know where Bum is pronounced, 'boom' and much becomes 'Mooch'. It was hysterical, I actually laughed out loud. Go you fookin' Moonkehs

We saw them out later in the evening and my suspicions were confirmed. They really are small children! Well actually I walked past them as they were leaving that club, each with a new-found blonde lady-friend (except the new bass player who was just chillin' in his own company). I felt like grabbing those little girls and saying "I know it seems like a great story, but herpes is for life!" Nah, just kidding. It was really quite romantic and I'm sure the start of something wonderful. Well done all of you, I say.

At this point I would like to thank my companions for the evening, Anna and Brock. We make an awesome, totally fun-ful team. It was the best night out I've had in a while. Huzzah!!!

Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, wall-sweat. By the end of the gig, the crowd had got so worked up that when I went into the bathroom the mirrors were all steamed up. You couldn't even see yourself for the steam. I came out to tell Brock and Anna just how freakin' hot we were... Then they pointed out that if you reached up and touched the ceiling beam above us, it was wet with condensation. The more closely you looked around the room all the surfaces were sweating. So my scientific conclusion is....wall-sweat = fookin great night out, Geezah!

A Hard Man Is Good To Find !

Disclaimer: This Post Will Be Touching and Emotional!!!



Friends, love is in the air!!!! Do you feel it? I sure do (feels a bit like sludge, but nevermind).

Look at this beautiful text message I received. It was sent to my phone but unfortch it is not meant for me. I know this because my name is not Mel and I haven't met a fine young gentleman named, Steve, recently. But he has such a way with words, I kind of wish I was, Mel!

The text message reads.....Ahem.....
"Hi Mel its Steve (last name omitted). Was just that you a fat skanky hoar (sic) call if you feel like a root"


Ready...1,2,3...Awwwwwwwww. That's so sweet. Ladies, if you would like his number, I have it -- just let me know. It's beautiful....and it is so hard to find a nice guy these days. But I found one and I didn't even have to leave home.

There is just one thing that makes no sense to me. Why did Mel give Steve the wrong number? Weird!

Anyway...I hope they find each other in the end. It seems like it could be the start of something really special! Wishing you all lovely love, Lovers!!

I Hugged Julian Casablancas and Now My Toe Hurts

Thursday night saw the return of The Strokes to Brisbane. It was a great show even if it was in the worst venue in town. I mean the cavernous Brisbane Entertainment Centre, which looks like a giant roller-skating rink, and The Strokes just doesn't go, sorry. OH how we do miss festival hall! But with no mid-sized venue in Brisbane you gotta take what you can get.

The BEC is so big that the people in the back seats are about 100 meters away from the stage...and there are two general admission areas with a great divide so that half the audience is separated from those up the front. Even the band seemed to think the venue was ordinary, as Julian introduced one of their newer songs, 'vision of division' saying it was a bit representative of the crowd there. I have to say that song sounded particularly good and the way it ends, it seriously just stops dead, translates powerfully live.

I've seen the Strokes a few times now and they have always been inhumanly tight. Thursday was no exception opening with a blistering rendition of 'Juicebox', then launching straight into the tension of 'Heart in a Cage'. While there new stuff is all tension and fancy arrangements, it was their old stuff which got the best crowd reaction. They are such easy songs to sing and dance to, like a maniac.

But by far the highlight of the evening was when Julian jumped down into the crowd to sing the final songs of the encore. Everyone fell all over themselves trying to grab a piece of him, it was hilarious, exciting and pathetic all at once. The weird thing is the boys were so much worse than the girls. I have to admit I am no exception, I totally ran after him. I just figured, 'bugger it, he's right there. I'm too old for this but I'm going to anyway'. And I was off.

He sang a whole song about 1 metre away from me. I'm such a dork, I didn't really know what to do with myself when I got to him. So, I just sort of danced and sang and felt weird and awkward. I was nowhere near as good as one dude (yes, boy) who grabbed him by the ears and tried to kiss him repeatedly. It was hysterical. Well done you whoever you are. Weirdo!

As Jules was making his way through the crowd of over-excited fans, he announced he was 'trying to get all the way to the back'. He managed to stretch the mic cord far enough to make it through the crowd and up the first set of stairs to the seated section. All the time people were grabbing him and hugging him and even pulling his hair. Amazingly he did not miss a beat of 'New York City Cops' and closer 'Take it or leave it'. They still sounded great.

The pairing of Nick Valensi and Albert Hammond Jnr has to be one of the best going around these days. I know people like to tear down this band, but when you see them live their is no denying the dudes can play! My friend, Anna, who is not the worlds biggest Strokes fan by any means, just kept saying "holy shit. They are so talented" after every song. The guitarists are the most captivating to watch too...Valensi is so nonchalant about doing an incredible solo and Hammond plays that high-slung guitar of his with such gusto, I was concerned his arm might fall off.

Speaking of Albert have you read about his new Solo Project

So my advice is Haters Beware....The Strokes are still a great band and seeing them live makes for one fun Thursday night out. Even if my toe does hurt a lot now!


On to Saturday and those Monkeys....